SJIN: Independent Dirt Trader
by LonMcGregor
Summary: Sjin Takes up the Security Firm G4S to deal with his dwarf-related problems. Alt timeline from Tekkit ep. 15


Somewhere, far away, there is a swamp. If you were to walk along the swamp's edge, you would find a hut. A hut made of dirt. It was not much to look at, but for Sjin, this was his house. It was his business. It was his livelihood. And he did not intend for it to go belly-up the way so many of his other ventures had. This time he was going it alone, no pushy bosses or unhelpful colleagues for him.

Standing just outside his house he can see the shenanigans, "work" as they put it, of his former employers. To the left, the pushy dirt mining company, Whose base was made up of a fence, a non-functioning crane and a quarry that was deactivated. He recalled the hatefulness of spending time there. Being shouted at and treated like, well, dirt. Sorting, Sorting, Sorting. Dirt, Dirt, Stone, Dirt. A Nightmarish 20 hours day, 7 days a week. Luckily for him, the Defection of a silk-shirted man from the company across the road allowed him the opportunity to leave.

Ok, in fairness he was fired. But this meant nothing to Sjin who sought out The Company now situated on his right, The jaffa-cake-making factory. Or at least that's what it was advertised as. Now, what was it called? The Honeydew Corporation? Enterprises? Conglomerate?

"I cannot for the life of me remember what that place was called", mutters Sjin to himself.

In all honesty his time there had not been much better than at the Dirt Quarry, If only for the time having been much shorter. One day at that place being beaten by a gold-crowned dwarf with a sharpened, pointy stick was enough for him to realise that it was pointless to stay.

It stands a tall, impressive and a sterile white. A Small wooden hut lies beside it, pitiful looking in scale, and many cubic pipes flow out of it in various directions carrying what appears to be stone. One starts overflowing, dropping it everywhere.

"I'm glad I left when I did"

At precisely this moment, a red-haired dwarf with a gold crown runs out of the small hut and starts planting seeds in the tilled, muddy land situated behind the wood hut. He seems reluctant to get wet, as he purposely and slowly deposits seed after seed in each block of dirt. Upon seeing this, Sjin Smiles to Himself, and shouts in a childish manner:

"I have your rubber boots. I have your rubber boots. I have your rubber boots."

"Give 'em back, ya Bastard! I'm all wet over here!" Replies the Ginger Dwarf in a rather gruff voice.

"I never signed any agreement that states I have to!", Counters Sjin with a pleased tone. He knows he is right, he himself had just worked a day doing the same job with only rubber boots and trousers to protect him from the pointy stick. So He Heads back to His Dirt House with his head held high. ish. To himself, he thinks out loud, "I'll need Some security to help keep him out, I bet he comes back for the boots."

The dwarf in question watches sullenly as Sjin trots off back to his mud hut. He bends over to plant some more seeds and falls flat on his face; "Uhhhggg.. Dammit."

*******************

A Few hours pass and Back at Sjin's Dirt House...

True to Sjin's Earlier Prediction, The Dwarf Returns to the dirt house with his possy. A man dressed in a white get-up, posing as an engineer or some similar profession walks up alongside the red-bearded Dwarf. Truth be told, standing by each other one can't really tell the difference in height of the dwarf and his associate.

"Honeydew Employees, STAND TO ATTENTION!", Hollers the dwarf.

To which the engineer replies, somewhat sceptically, "What employees? It's just you, Simon, and me, Duncan"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about lewis." This takes out quite a lot of the dwarf's energy and he momentarily loses his concentration.

"Anyway! Sjin, get out here"

"I already am" States Sjin with a suppressed laugh as the duo turn around comically. "Heh, Morons."

Somehow the two had made it past him, oblivious to him, as he had been surveying his handiwork. He had just expanded the Dirt hut to make a little more room and affixed several signs to the Fence, made of dirt, surrounding his one-day-to-be complex. They Read:

[-SJIN: INDEPENDANT DIRT TRADER-]

[-KEEP OUT: SECURITY MINDED BY G4S-]

Duncan and Simon Turn to follow Sjin's Mindless Gaze and their eyes fall upon the signs. Upon reading they burst out in laughter. This shocks... no. Angers Sjin greatly, as he has just spent several hours preparing for such an event, even to hiring a security team, and now he finds them laughing at him.

"What's So funny, you trespassers?", he asks furiously.

Duncan is the First to Reply, as Simon is still laughing like a madman. "Heh, Well, Heh. First of all you spelled "Independent" wrong!" Sjin simply stares at him, daring him to continue, "And Secondly, You hired.. heheh, G4S!"

Duncan And Simon, who had calmed down a bit, Both return to their stupor of near-insane laughter.

"And what, tell me, is the problem with that?" Sjin asks as he goes to fix his spelling error. He treats it with the utmost care not to seem annoyed, but this is in vain as his hands can be seen to be shaking.

"Well lets see, for one thing", Starts Simon, "They completely screwed up on the Olympics, Only like, the fucking biggest event ever!" Again, he bursts out in a fit of giggles. Sjin's apparent faux-pas seems to incapacitate him.

Surprisingly though, it is at this point, that Sjin begins to look happy. "My ace in my sleeve", he simply states.

"heh, you what?", giggles Duncan.

Sjin explains with a calm wave of his hand. "Isn't it obvious my friends? The government simply hired G4S so that when their attempt at Olympic security went belly-up they would have someone to blame it on!"

Simon is now shaking in a fit of suppressed laughter. All it takes is for him to turn to his left and catch Duncan's Eye to send him to the floor. Him and Duncan both lie laughing. Unfortunately for them, they do not see Sjin reach to the holster by his belt, and slowly, yet purposely, pry the radio from it's grip. Sjin's Mouth opens to the radio.

"Take them away", Sjins Mouth Closes and breaks into a grin.

The last thing Simon and Duncan hear is the sound of rotor blades slicing through the air at breakneck speed.

******************

A mere five minutes later, back at honeydew corp, inc.. whatever.

"How the Fuck did he pull that off‽" Asks a bruised Simon.

The only reply from a just as damaged Duncan is "gwahhhh".

"And where the hell did he get that helicopter mounted with a rocket launcher anyway, we're in the middle of nowhere near a swamp!"

"guuuhhhh".

"This isn't over, Duncan. We're gonna get those boots back". The sincerity in Simon's voice perks Duncan up just long enough for him to ask with a sigh:

"What happened to just making Jaffa Cakes?"


End file.
